Love and Loved

Well...
recently...there been quite alot things tt is happening...yeah...
my ah ma jus passed away recently and it was near my exam somemre...
she got cancer and the doc did say be4 she gt afew months to live...like around mre than half a yr...but her condition is getting worse by each day tt eventually she left us...
of cos we were veri sad abt it when she left us and so...but we knew tt she mus be in heaven nw...yea...
well...those 5 days spending and keep going to the funeral there...i saw my uncles, aunty and cousins which i will onli saw them on chinese new year...and when the 1st time i saw my ah ma lying there on the coffin there alot of emotions tt were flowing thru me....although they said cannot cried infront of ah ma but eventually i still shed my tears cause i realli cannot take it when i saw somemre realli close lying in the coffin there...
the five days was realli veri tiring for me...as i nid to learn for my chem exam and so on and i nid to be there at the funeral until at nite then can go home wif my sisters....
but eventually everything was over...although sometimes will feel werid but will be fine de...
there was a part when my ah ma the body was going to burn into ash...we were asked to shout: " ah ma quickly run away the fire was onli burning ur body but nt ur soul..."
the part at where the body was being burn which was nt shown...everyone was sad and crying...so sad....
well...actually i mus said that i dun realli knw my ah ma tt well...cause i onli knw that she like money...that onli a side of her....actuallly...she do loved all of us veri much and jus that she didn;t kwn hw to express it...jus like in chinese when a pple was going to die they haf to eat their food but at the same time leave some food left meaning that we the next generations will haf pently of food to eat and will nt be stuff...she din nt eaten for like 3 days be4 she was going to die...she was so conern abt us....=( and also she brought us things like key chains for us when she knew that she doesn't haf any time left......and also...when i was small i like toking to ah ma...although i dunno wat i am toking abt or she doesn;t understand to wat i am saying abt that was the time when i i think i was some kind close to her...when i grew up i realli dunno wat to tok to her...jus smile smile and take a sit at a side of her house and watch the tv or listen to my parents toking to her....
there was a word that she cre8 herself like " com o for si" something like a eng word to her and she would said that to me when she saw me...and i wud rmb the words in my heart...
i haf been thinking that where do we go to after we die or something but we wun be able to knw until we r dead...
and i knw that she is in heaven watching over us all ba...